Farmergeddon
Repent! The end of Gardener’s World is nigh! It looks like we finally made it to our thirteenth song, just in time to usher in the beginning of the end … for what started as one man’s relaxing hobby soon became hot firey doom for us all …
In a nation where Sunday is revered as a sacred day to be spent in B&Q, quietly contemplating whether to plant leylandii or radishes, it could only be a matter of time before someone, somewhere, would fail to cultivate anything but the seeds of the apocalypse that would destroy us all.
We cannot now prevent what has already been set in motion, but we may be able to minimise the damage. So, please, before you purchase that bag of Miracle Gro and a bumper selection from Suttons, like, share, comment, tell everyone about the dangers of unsupervised horticulture before more lives are lost.
To help spread the word to all those who tend the allotments, gardens, and window-boxes of this green and pleasant land, why not scroll down the page a little and download yourself our helpful musical guide to preventing large-scale biocide this autumn (two varieties are available!)
Have your trowels and dibbers at the ready …
What on earth had you dug from your window box and smoked when you wrote this one.. lol hilarious xxx
“Alan Titchmarsh”……
Nothing, really … I seem to remember we were filled with tea and Hob Nobs when we first started writing this one, maybe they had an effect? We also thought there was something intrinsically funny about the idea of Alice Cooper doing a song about gardening 🙂