There's something I must tell you
Bear with me, would you, please?
It's hard for me to say this
Forgive my slight unease
There's every possibility
That you might be surprised
To learn the gentle man you know
Could have a darker side

Please don't be alarmed, my friends
Don't let your thoughts unravel
I haven't turned to Jesus Christ
Or done a Jimmy Savile
It's only hypothetical
A seed I've yet to sow
But it's probably the one thing
About me you should know ...

CHORUS
If I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain
I'd buy an old volcano
And use it as the base for all my killin'
It's not that I was born to be an evil overlord
It's just with all that cash around, I'd probably get bored
So, if I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain

There's no imagination
Among winners any more
Paying off their mortgages
And giving to the poor
They'll buy a house for granny
Vacations in the sun
College funds for all their kids
And endless party fun

Pretty soon they're clinging
To a molecule of hope
Because they didn't plan ahead
And pissed it up a rope
I wouldn't waste my millions
On mansions, cars, or girls
I'd use the money wisely
To take over the world

CHORUS
'Cause if I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain
I'll study nuclear physics
And build machines to bring on Armageddon
I'll hire Alan Dedicoat, no matter what the price
To voice the count down of my new apocalypse device
So, if I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain

If you're wondering where all this megalomania's coming from
Maybe it's the teasing that I got when I was young
It won't be me that's crying when the bonus ball comes round
As I rise up with my empire as the world comes tumbling down

CHORUS
If I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain
To threaten the entire world
On a massive telly would be rather thrillin'
Release the balls and soon I will unleash my evil plan
It's still a secret but I'll say you'd best avoid Japan
'Cause if I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain
If I won the lottery
I'd probably become a super-villain

Written by Intermittent Explosive Disorder
© Copyright 2015