Jeremy Clarkson has done it again
Flinging casual racism and inflicting pain
The Beeb have suspended him from his telly show
Until all of the facts are known
But his army of fans are far from elated
They're currently demanding that he be reinstated
It just doesn't matter to them what his defence is
They think he shouldn't have to face the consequences

CHORUS
One million twats, one million twats
Signing a petition wearing “Top Gear” hats
There's one million twats, one million twats
What do we do about that?

The wording you see, is perfectly clear
“We want you to put our Jezza back on Top Gear”
There's no request he get the benefit of the doubt
Just demands he has the right to bully, threaten, and shout
But his army of knob-wits can not see the fault
That they're just apologists for violent workplace assault
It seems they'd be happy to be smacked in the gob
By a colleague who would never subsequently lose his job

CHORUS
There's one million twats, one million twats
Defending unprovoked assault in “Top Gear” hats
There's one million twats, one million twats
What do we do about that?

Now it has been said there's a comparison here
To another BBC presenter from yesteryear
Of course it's just wrong to say their crimes are the same
But there's parallels and lessons we should learn about fame
No-one's beyond being held to account
Whether paedophile or dick who gives producers a clout
No-one's untouchable, “legend” or not
If you do bad, then you get punished, simple as that!

CHORUS
One million twats, one million twats
Signing a petition wearing “Top Gear” hats
There's one million twats, one million twats
What do we do about that?
What do we do about that?

Written by Intermittent Explosive Disorder
© Copyright 2015