There's been some allegations
In a new biography
About a certain part of David
Cameron's anatomy
At a dining club in Oxford
It's alleged, and this is big
That the ham-faced, Tory wanker
Stuck his cock into a pig

An initiation rite that
Shows how rich folk must be bored
Saw the PM stab a dead pig
In the mouth with his pork sword
Now, we don't know if it's true or not
The facts are rather sparse
But I heard it on the news
That Kermit plans to kick his arse

We've often thought “ham-fisted”
Should be your middle name
Will you call on Rupert Murdoch
To save your bacon once again?
In a country full of cynics
It comes as no surprise
To discover David Cameron
Might be slinging porkie pies

Our relationship with Israel
Might now be a little stretched
And that episode of “Black Mirror”
No longer seems far-fetched
Do you hanker for a hog roast?
Come on, tell the truth now, Dave
That you're thinking of another
When you call Samantha “Babe”

Ed Milliband won't touch
A bacon sarnie any more
Since you've redefined the meaning
Of “pulled pork” and “wild boar”
Poor Piglet lives in fear down in
One Hundred Acre Wood
And the pig who ran to market
Ran like fuck for his own good


David Cameron joined a club
And in that club he fucked a pig ...

Written by Intermittent Explosive Disorder
© Copyright 2015