There lives a certain man in Russia nowadays
He is scary, fierce, and he doesn't like the gays
Some people think of him as nothing but a threat
The stability of the world he could upset
He would steal Crimea on the quiet
Terrorists he has supplied
He, yes, he imprisoned Pussy Riot
Because they criticised

Vladimir Putin, hacking Clinton's mail machine
Dishing the dirt, electing the Don
Vladimir Putin, helping out the tangerine
For in return sanctions will be gone

He rules the Russian land, but yearns to be the Tsar
Given half a chance he'd reform U.S.S.R
In Putin's art of war the past will be his guide
For his strategy is to conquer and divide
He will drive the Brexit referendum
And Donald Trump for President
He will fracture USA and NATO
And Europe will be rent


I'm not here, okay, nothing to see here
There's no reason for you to imagine I'm here
I've never been on any song about Russians
That's just fake news

Vlad Vlad Vlad Vlad Vlad Vlad Vlad Vlad (x4)

At judo he's a champ, at hockey he's a stud
And Steven Seagal is his super-bestest bud
But no one seems to know the thoughts inside his head
And his enemies often turn up slightly dead
Does he have a hold over The Trumpet?
Cash or blackmail, we assume
Did he tape him whizzing with a strumpet
In a hotel room?

Vladimir Putin, don't you dare call him a queen
He isn't gay, he's manly and butch
Vladimir Putin, Russia's creepy Mr Bean
He helped arrange American putsch

Vladimir Putin, let's be honest, closet queen
You often see him without his shirt on
Vladimir Putin, don't give us polonium tea
We're being silly, and it's just a song

Oh, that Russian ...

Written by Intermittent Explosive Disorder
© Copyright 2018