Stop The Marketing
The nights draw in. The chill starts to bite. It can only mean one thing … that for the next month we’re going to be repeatedly sprayed in the face with the omni-directional vomit cannon of Christmas advertising.
There was a time when everyone used to look forward to Christmas itself; giddy with excitement, we wondered what presents Santa had left for us under the tree. Now, instead, we’re all suffering a severe case of itchy knickers in early November as John Lewis prepare to unveil their annual tribute to cloying nausea.
“Will it feature an annoyingly cute animal designed by focus group to appeal to the feeble-minded?” we wonder. “How will they try this year to depict an impossibly perfect version of Christmas that exists literally nowhere in the world?” we ask ourselves, “and what classic song will they murder with an insipid cover to accompany it?” Meanwhile, a somewhat tired-sounding voice in the quiet corner of our hearts enquires, “Would someone mind changing the channel? These commercials have pushed the mawkish sentiment to such dangerous levels that I appear to already be covered in my own sick.”
While you hunt around for a towel, a clean festive jumper, and details on how to subscribe to an ad-free online streaming service, why not cast your jaundiced eyes down the page and treat yourself to an MP3 that will appeal to the exasperated grump in us all. Oh, and don’t forget to go and subscribe to our YouTube channel while you’re at it!
Please, please, please let me get what I want … directions to an ad agency and a molotov cocktail
© Copyright 2017 Intermittent Explosive Disorder