Ahhh, I can’t tell you how many hours of my precious youth were spent locked away in my bedroom, furiously engaged in a desperate attempt to enjoy myself at the expense of my rapidly failing eyesight and painfully aching wrists.

We figured it was about time for us to declare our allegiances, and it’s only fair to warn you that this revelation may be more than a little shocking. We make no apologies … there is nothing to apologise for …

There’s nothing quite like a typical British summer, is there? Clutching a blanket full of picnic as you sprint from sunny beach to the drizzle-soaked misery of a long-deserted amusement arcade’s decrepit entrance porch.