Chronocide
In the long history of cinema movies have managed to show us every facet of the human experience, and we’ve only really learned two things; first, life is short and, second, Hollywood is determined to waste as much of it as possible.
Dame Lady Sir Duchess Queen Helen Mirren might be fabulous, but she was fabulously wrong when she recently blamed Netflix and other streaming services for killing cinema. The truth, like the audience for “The Emoji Movie”, is infinitely simpler; it’s not murder, it’s suicide.
Having to pay £13 for a ticket is killing cinema. Being compelled to sit through half an hour of mind-numbing adverts, and trailers for films so vapid and awful they come not with age ratings but government health warnings, is killing cinema … and it’s even worse with home media. Want to watch a movie on DVD? Then be prepared for a wait longer than the queue for the toilets on “Free Two Litre Coke For Every Pensioner Thursday”.
So, as you tally up how few precious seconds of your life remain while waiting for “Zoolander 2: Zoo Harder” to finally start, why not begin your habit of downloading everything from now on by giving our latest song a listen (you could even watch the video!). Remember to share it with everyone and subscribe to our YouTube channel while you’re at it.
Legally-owned media: where no good deed goes unpunished …