After a whole year of being wound up, stressed out, and pissed off by colleagues who thwart your sanity (especially that git who nicks your stapler), how better to relieve the tension than by getting chaotically drunk with the bastards?
Whoever could imagine that putting fifty office drones – their spirits dulled by twelve months of tedium and enforced amiability – into a gaudily decorated function room with a well-stocked free bar would result in an orgy of debauchery, carnage, and barely-contained violence?
Is the collective suppressed rage and accumulated annual stress of an entire office to blame for the explosion of rampant festive twattery? Or is it simply because some arsehole has put Black Lace on the stereo to trigger your vomit reflex with yet another cringe-inducing, and seasonally-inappropriate, party “hit”?
So, while the boss draws up January’s batch of P45s, why not stagger on to the dance floor and gyrate to our latest MP3, or perhaps even focus your pissed peepers on the video? Don’t forget to annoy all your co-workers with it and subscribe to our YouTube channel too before the blurry photos of what you all got up to find themselves attached to a company-wide email.
Push pineapple, shake the tree …
UPDATE: You can now download this song on “The Considerable E.P” along with ten other fantastically festive tracks!