There you are, happily enjoying a permanent and irreversible state of total non-existence when, all of a sudden, some cheeky bastard relative sticks a needle in your face and expects you to make pleasing audio memories for them!
After slowly falling to bits during your final years your “loved ones” then bung you in an oven until you’re way past the point of being perfectly cooked, sprinkle what remains into a bucket of liquid PVC, stomp you flat, and etch soundwaves into you.
Whatever happened to “Rest In Peace”? Not much chance of that when you’re spending eternity rotating like a belt-driven fidget spinner, honking out “Agadoo” (or whatever screeching din they misguidedly thought best represented your short time upon this earth).
So, before that one colossal dickhead in the family starts scratching with you like they’re DJ Cash Money, why not download an MP3 (suck it, audiophiles, and learn about bandwidth and dynamic range), or perhaps even watch the video? Don’t forget to annoy all your friends with it (they’re only going to annoy you later) and subscribe to our YouTube channel too while you’re at it.
Watch out, here I come …