We’d like to take the opportunity whilst announcing our brand new song to reassure our friends and relatives that this song is not, in ANY way, about you … unless, of course, you don’t share it, in which case it is TOTALLY about you.

It’s time again to decorate your Pagan tree, exchange Norse gifts, enjoy a Roman feast, and celebrate the birth of a Persian god as you await the arrival of a jolly Scandinavian fat guy … and here’s the accompanying blasphemous festive soundtrack!

Repent! The end of Gardener’s World is nigh! It looks like we finally made it to our thirteenth song, just in time to usher in the beginning of the end … for what started as one man’s relaxing hobby soon became hot firey doom for us all …

You should probably sit down. We need to talk about, erm … “things”. You must have noticed that “things” between us are not as exciting as they used to be? But, it’s okay, there IS a solution. Just, bear with me … hear me out …

Ahhh, I can’t tell you how many hours of my precious youth were spent locked away in my bedroom, furiously engaged in a desperate attempt to enjoy myself at the expense of my rapidly failing eyesight and painfully aching wrists.