It’s said the only certainties in life are death and taxes, but what about sickness, suffering, solitude, and the fact that your favourite show will always be cancelled while “Mrs Brown’s Boys” gets another shitting series?

Even if one is lucky enough to find a working pen in the smouldering ruins of what used to be called America, future historians will struggle to write anything more about this era beyond the simple words, “What the fuck happened there?!”

Forget gruff men in raincoats exchanging briefcases at a midnight bridge rendezvous, or teenage loners living in a Ukraine basement sneaking in through an unsecured port, we’ve got the confidential files you want; our brand new E.P, featuring four privacy-busting songs

Isn’t it just typical the way reality heartlessly insists on marching away from events you’ve written about, thus rendering your take on them progressively less relevant over time? Or, to put it another way, welcome to our E.P of topical stuff that dates annoyingly swiftly.

Ah, love … it brings out the poet in us all. Or, in our case, it brings out the sarcastic, piss-taking sods. Welcome to our new E.P, a collection of songs guaranteed to induce looks of deep concern when you use them as the soundtrack to your next candlelit dinner.