It’s Easter half-term, so everyone’s on holiday – even us! We’re taking a break from our usual brand of intelligent, subtle, and witty musical satire to instead bring you a few minutes of entirely deserved gratuitous verbal abuse.

They are often referred to as the “thin blue line”, although many have implied over the years that the line might in fact be somewhat thicker. Not us, of course … we’d never stoop to making such a crass insinuation.

He is suave, sophisticated, and cool. He is also nihilistic, sexist, and amoral but, surprisingly, these are not his worst qualities. That honour must surely belong to the fact that everyone knows who the bloody hell he is.

We don’t usually do lyric parodies, preferring instead to inflict our own original creations upon you … but, with all that’s happened recently this just seemed to be the perfect vehicle for saying simply: fuck this year.

It is often said that Christmas is a time for peace on Earth, and goodwill to all, but it seems that neither the year itself (or a substantial number of people living in it) have actually gotten that message.